how to say this??

I just feeling blue now. I dont know what I sould do. I even dont know what the right word to read. I just feel nothing today. just because a few hours ago some news make me look to much. the news that make blue.

gw ga tau dari kapan gw se-addict ini sama apa yg gw lakuin. kanapa gw malah kemakan omongan gw sendiri 'udah jalanin aja yg ada dulu, yg besok2 biar dateng pada saatnya'. tapi pas yg 'besok2' itu udah dateng.. gw malah ga bisa ngebendung 'haru biru ini'. ngemoh emang. gw jg ngerasa kaya gtu. tapi. emng cw mana yg ga ngemoh kalo seakan-akan cw itu tau kapan dia mati. kalo liat conya jelas2 jalan sama 'cw' lain di saat co itu masih sayang sama cw itu. dan itu semua tuntutan orang tua. yg ga bisa di lawan.

HOW COME!!??

emang gw terbuat dari apa? batu? keras? I just a normal human!?. and what sould I do now? die? die before I die hardly then now? or break up? I still whan him!!. I still need him. I cant wonder what happen next!!!

I just pray for my self now